I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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