the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
