okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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