Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
