batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
