Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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