need another drink. this is the easiest way
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
