This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
