I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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