i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
sex in a hospital.. check
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
