Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
