sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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