i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
