It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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