what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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