Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
