thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We had to coat check the pizza.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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