wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
