Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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