he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize