Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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