Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
