Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize