allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm jealous of your bromance
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
