I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
