This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
