that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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