Buhtt sex?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
