Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
