i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize