Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize