i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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