can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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