im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
God, I missed his penis.
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