Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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