Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize