I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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