How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
