Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
