I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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