Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize