Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
