Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
