my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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