marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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