I accidentally had phone sex last night
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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