The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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