my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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