Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
