she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
