if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
