Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
