I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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