so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
