shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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