thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
