you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
