i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
