Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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