but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize