I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
