I didn't shave. On purpose
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
