oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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