We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
