i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
