I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize