i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
