It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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