no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
