Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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