After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
