woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize