I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
