i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
