i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
