Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize