the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
