let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize