Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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