Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the day after is always just damage control
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
did i just pee glitter
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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